Muggle Games
by Zephyr Fyrian
Summary: Harry and his friends are asked by Hermione to come to the Head Dorms where she stays as Head Girl for some 'Muggle education'. When they get there however, they are confronted by a flustered and messy-haired Hermione, and an irate Draco Malfoy, who complains about them interrupting his snogging session with his girlfriend. What has Harry gotten himself into? Dramione oneshot.


**(A/N) For those of you who are waiting for the next chapter of _The Essence of Life,_ don't worry; I'm working on it. I may upload that tomorrow or Sunday, but I promise I WILL post it soon. **

**So, in the meantime, I finished this little piece and hopefully you'll find in amusing.**

 **Happy reading!**

* * *

Harry, his girlfriend Ginny, his best friend Ron and his girlfriend Lavender, and Neville and his girlfriend Luna, all made their way up to the Heads' Dorms where Hermione had told them to meet. Hermione had said something about 'Muggle education', but Harry had no clue what that meant.

When they reached the dorms, they came to a standstill in front of a large portrait with the four founders of Hogwarts.

"Ah, Potter!" exclaimed Godric, grinning through his wild golden beard. He jumped to his feet, nearly knocking Salazar out of his chair.

"Merlin's beard, Godric," Slytherin complained, glancing at the students, but returning to his book.

"Oh shut up," Godric replied jovially. "Now, young lads and lasses, what can I do for you?"

"Er, we need to get in." Harry said plainly.

"Of course-" Godric began.

"Godric!" scolded Rowena. "The _password."_

"Oh- er, right." Godric flushed. "Ahem, password?"

"Erm," Harry looked at the other five. "Anybody know it?"

"Manticore!" exclaimed Luna, twirling and fluttering her hands about. "Oh, I do love manticores. They're not as common as Crumple-horned Snorkacks but-"

"Yes, yes, Luna, we know." Neville interrupted. "Anyway, is that the password?"

"Indeed it is, good sir," Godric nodded, the portrait swinging open. "Good luck, and keep an open mind!"

"Er, thanks!" Harry called as he entered the room.

Back outside, Godric turned to Salazar and grinned.

"They've got no clue, do they?" he asked his friend.

"No, Godric, no they do not." Salazar shook his head in amusement. "Come, brother, let's go watch their reactions."

Godric's grin widened and he joined Salazar in the portrait inside the Common Room.

Hermione, the Head Girl, came bustling out of one of the bedrooms, looking flustered. Her hair was frizzier than usual, her cheeks were pink, and her lip was bleeding.

"Hermione!" exclaimed Ginny worriedly. "What happened to your lip?"

"What? Oh," Hermione laughed awkwardly. "I ran into the door in the bathroom, the hinge cut my lip. It was just now, I was rushing out to see who'd come in and I got a little carried away. I'll heal it now."

"You look harried," Lavender said, sitting down on one of the couches beside Ron. Ron smiled and wrapped his arm around her.

"O-oh, yes, I suppose," Hermione flushed brightly. "Er, I've been studying, yes, studying, very hard you see, with N.E.W.T.s and all…"

Hermione shook herself and rushed back upstairs.

"You guys wait there, I'll be down in a minute, I've just got get the game!" she called, running into the bedroom she'd just come out of and shutting the door.

"Why did she close the door if she's just getting the game?" Neville wondered nervously.

"Game?" Ron blinked. "I thought we were here for some studying session."

"Ron, if this is a study session, why are you here?" Harry grinned at his red haired friend.

"Lavender's idea…" Ron muttered.

"Why, may I ask, has my Common Room been infested with filth?" drawled an all too familiar bored voice from upstairs. "And you interrupted my lovely snogging session with my girlfriend."

They all turned to watch the Head Boy, Malfoy, descend the stairs and saunter over, smirking.

"Get outta here, ferret!" growled Ron.

"Oh, I apologize," Malfoy's smirk dropped off and he adopted a fake apologetic expression. "I don't speak 'weasel'. Well, actually, I don't speak Weaselbee 'weasel'. I don't really have anything against Weaslette. Plus, I _live_ here."

"Thanks, I think." Ginny grinned knowingly.

"Ginny?" Ron asked uncertainly. "Why're you smiling at Malfoy?"

"Because I'm oh so handsome, clearly." Malfoy's smirk returned and he flopped into a chair, his legs dangling off one arm while his back rested against the other.

"Ha," snorted Ron. "You're anything _but_ handsome, ferret boy."

"Ferret _Boy?"_ Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "I'm fairly certain I'm a man now, Weaselbee. Just because you aren't one, doesn't mean you can't acknowledge other men. And, anything but handsome, hm? I'll take hot then."

"You, a man?" Ron rolled his eyes. "You're a pathetic coward, Malfoy."

"Hmm, am I really?" Malfoy pretended to pick lent off his shirt. "Well, Granger has a different opinion. Not that we do much talking, of course…"

Malfoy looked at Ginny and smirked. Ginny smirked right back.

"No duh, you argue." Ron crossed his arms.

"Actually, that's not what I meant." Malfoy replied, not even looking at Ron. "Did she seem rather, how should I put this…out of sorts when she came out here?"

"Malf- er, yeah, why?" Ron blinked.

"You figure it out," Malfoy looked up at the door just as Hermione burst out, carrying a retangular box.

"Okay!" she said, hurrying over. She placed the box onto the coffee table and stepped back to stand by Malfoy's chair. "Life!"

"…Life?" Malfoy blinked at her. "Wait- no, no no no not this stupid Muggle game. Ergh, why did I agree to this?"

"Because," Hermione said, plopping down right on top of Malfoy, causing him to jerk and shove her, sitting up in his chair. "You don't want to be slapped again, do you?"

Harry and Ron shared confused looks. Godric and Salazar stifled laughter from their portraits. Lavender looked at the box with interest. Ginny and Luna smiled at each other knowingly.

"Er, why are you-" Harry began, but didn't finish.

Malfoy suddenly reached over and yanked Hermione's chin up, studying her for a half-second before kissing her.

"HERMIONE" exploded Ron.

"Relax, Ronald," sniggered Ginny. "They've been dating since like, the start of the year."

"WHAT"

"Can it, Weaselbee." Malfoy snapped, turning back to Hermione. "Are we going to play this Merlin-forsaken game or are we going to sit here and argue like petty children?"

"Oh, hush," Hermione said, but it lacked true malice.

After setting up the board, Hermione pulled out four tiny cars.

"Okay," she said, placing three of the cars down after handing Malfoy the green one.

"Green, how original." he rolled his eyes.

"Hush," Hermione then looked at the rest of them. "Alright, so me and the girls will handle the bank, while you boys play. Or, alternately, I'll handle the bank, and when you get married in the game your girlfriends will help you."

"I like that," Harry said, smiling at Ginny.

"Me too," Ron agreed, slinging his arm around Lavender again. Neville nodded too, patting Luna's knee.

"That's not fair," Malfoy whined.

"How so?" Harry asked.

"You all have your girlfriends helping you, but mine is running the bank." he complained.

"HERMIONE"

"Shut _up,_ Ron." Ginny snapped, taking the yellow car and handing it to Harry, along with a tiny blue peg to place inside it to represent Harry.

"Relax, Draco." Hermione rubbed Malfoy's shoulder. "I'll give you financial advice."

"How truly helpful," Malfoy smirked and kissed Hermione again, causing Ron to start growling unintelligebly.

"Oi, the _game."_ interrupted Harry.

"Oh, right." Hermione blushed, but Malfoy only smirked wider.

Hermione handed each of them two 1ook papers and then sat back.

"Alright, the youngest starts," Hermione said, looking at Harry. "Harry, that's you."

"Er, what do I do?" Harry asked.

"You choose to either get a job, or go to college." Hermione answered, pointing to the board.

"Okay…" Harry placed his car, the yellow one, one the 'career' path. "I'll go ahead and get a job."

"Alright," Hermione said, looking at the instructiong manuel. "Take two of the career cards- that's those -and pick whichever one you like better."

"Probably the one that makes the most money," Malfoy advised.

"Yeah, probably." Harry grinned and picked up two cards. "I got, 'Police Officer', and 'Athlete'. Both pay 50k. I pick Athlete."

"Okay, now spin." Hermione commanded.

"Four," Harry said aloud, moving his little car along four spaces.

"Okay, payday," Hermione glanced over at Harry's card and then handed him a 50k piece of paper. "And now pick an 'Action' card."

"Ha, family photo time." Harry grinnned. "'Pick an opponent and smile for the camera!' Then I think we spin. I pick Neville."

Harry and Neville both gave their best goofy grins and then Harry spun the wheel.

"Eight!" he called.

"Three, dang." Neville sat back.

"Okay, the bank needs to pay me 70k." Harry said triumphantly.

Hermione handed him a 50k and two 10ks.

"Alright, Draco?" Hermione smiled and adjusted the box lid she was using for the bank.

"Fine," Malfoy groaned. "I'm going to college, unlike this idiot."

Malfoy, who had apparently played this game before, handed Hermione one of his 100ks for tuition and spun the wheel. "Seven…okay. Oh, great, _surfing._ I'll pick Potter."

"Do we spin?" Harry inquired, recieving a nod of affirmattion from Malfoy, who'd already spun the wheel again. "What'd you get, nine? Oh boy."

Harry spun, getting a five.

"Ha ha! Take that you scarred ba-" Malfoy didn't finish, for Hermione smacked him on the arm. "Jeez woman! Why're you so violent? Whatever, now pay me."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but handed him a 50k and four 10ks.

"Neville," she said, inclining her head to the round-faced boy.

"Okay, I'm going to college." Neville handed Hermione one of his 100ks and then spun the wheel. "Five, okay, my 'Action' card says…oh dear, It's, er, great uncle Max's 100th birthday, woohoo…I lost 30k. Thanks great uncle Max."

Harry and Ron grinned at each other while Neville paid Hermione his last 100k and recieved a 50k and two 10ks in exchange.

"Alright, Ronald?" Hermione turned to Ron. "Are you going to college or getting a job?"

"I'll get a job," Ron replied, taking two career cards from the small pile. "Ooh, I can be a racecar driver, whatever that is, or an actor. Acting pays more, so I'll go with that."

Ron then spun the wheel.

"Seven, two paydays, and an action card for me!" Ron grinned and collected his two 100ks from Hermione. "Oh my, a comedy competition! Everybody tries to make me laugh. The bank will pay anyone who succeeds 50k, but if I keep a straight face then I get paid 200k!"

Harry grinned.

"Okay," he said. "So this guy buys a broomstick. And the dealer says, 'it'll fly like there's no tomorrow!'. So the guy flies on his broomstick and finds that it's the best broomstick he'd ever ridden on. So he enters a race set for the next day. But, when he gets there the next day, the broom doesn't fly. So he takes it back to the dealer and complains, but the dealer says, 'I told it would fly like there's no tomorrow, 'cause it's jinxed to last that long!'"

Luna and Lavender laughed a little, but nobody else did.

"That was sad," Malfoy commented.

"Hey, I just came up with it." Harry retorted. "Plus, I needed the money."

"No you don't, you're the richest here!" Malfoy snickered. "Alright, Longbottom? You going to try?"

"Er, no thanks." Neville backed farther into his chair.

"Alright, my turn then." Malfoy smiled evilly. "Are you ready for this, Weasel?"

"Bring it on, ferret." Ron replied, cracking his knuckles.

"'Knock knock,'" Malfoy smirked at the disbelieving expressions on Harry and Ron's faces.

"Are you serious?" Harry asked. "A _'knock knock'_ joke?"

"Shut it, Potter." but Malfoy didn't seem too put out. "Weasley?"

"Oh, er, right, er, who's there?" Ron cleared his throat.

"You know," Malfoy smirked wider.

"You know who?" Ron asked.

"Exactly," Malfoy grinned.

"What- ohhhhh," Ron burst out laughing. "Okay, admittedly, that was pretty good."

"Of course it was, I'm a Malfoy." Malfoy sniggered and held his hand out in front of Hermione. "Money, dear Granger, pay up."

Hermione rolled her eyes, but handed him a 50k.

"Harry, it's your turn." Hermione informed him.

"Right-o," Harry spun the wheel. "5ok please."

Hermione handed him the paper and he turned over an action card.

"Hehe," Harry grinned. "I built a maze, pay me 50k, 'cause everybody loves it!"

Hermione laughed and handed him the money.

"Here you are, Draco?" Hermione smiled.

"On it," Malfoy spun the wheel. "Seven, we seem to get that a lot, don't we? Oh wait, I have to stop and graduate. Great. What happens now? Do I get paid?"

"Er, let me check." Hermione opened the booklet. "Okay, you take two of the 'College Career' cards and choose one of them."

"Oh joy," Malfoy said sardonically, picking up two cards. "Oh _wow._ However will I choose? I got 'Secret Agent', not too bad, pays 100k, and 'Doctor', pays 130k. Ha, I'm a doctor now."

"Yay!" Hermione exclaimed, laughing. "Dr. Draco Malfoy. Doesn't that sound adorable?"

"Nothing regarding me is _adorable,"_ Malfoy argued, making a disparaging sound in the back of his throat. "Anyway, better spin…two. How pathetic."

"Take and action card, Malfoy." Ginny advised.

"Can it, Weaslette." Malfoy picked up an action card, looking for all the world like he just wanted to leave. "Oh hey, something half-decent. We all spin and get paid."

Malfoy spun and got a 6.

Neville spun and got a 2.

Ron spun and got a 4.

And Harry spun and got an 8.

"Alright," said Malfoy. "Six and up get 100k, that's me and Potter, and 1 through five get 50k, that's Weaselbee and Longbottom."

"Okay, here" Hermione handed the money out carefully. "Now it's Neville's turn."

"Okay," Neville spun the wheel. "Oh dear, I got a one. And I got 'Karate Classes'. Oh boy. I pick Harry to spin against me. Here I go…eight. That's pretty good, right?"

Harry spun as well, and got a 3.

"Welp, you get the money." he said, nodding to Hermione to hand Neville his money. "Your turn, Ron."

Ron grinned and spun quickly, earning himself a 7.

"Whoop-dee-doo! Payday!" Ron did a jig in his seat, taking the 100k given to him from Hermione. "And I'm getting married, so, Lav-Lav is now part of the game."

"Yes, so everyone pays him 100k for getting married." Hermione said.

"That's stupid, I didn't get paid for graduating." Malfoy grumbled, handing Ron a 100k.

"Don't rub it in," Neville complained, not having a 100k, so he gave Ron two 50ks. Harry also handed Ron a 100k.

"Damn, Weaselbee, you're filthy rich!" Malfoy groaned.

"Yup, hey Hermione?" Ron asked. "Can I trade these 100ks in for a 500k or something?"

"Sure," Hermione took five of his 100ks and handed him one 500k.

"Can I rob the bank?" Malfoy asked.

"No," Hermione snapped.

"But I need money!" Malfoy whined.

"Then play the game," Hermione said.

Malfoy grumbled something Harry didn't catch.

"My turn," announced Harry, spinning. "Payday, and- get up here Gin- I'm married now, so pay me."

"Yes, take the money from Weasel." Malfoy said, handing Harry his last 100k. Neville mumbled something and gave Harry a 50k and four 10ks, because he didn't have anymore money.

"You're in debt now," Hermione said, snatching a 100k from Ron and giving it to Harry. "Do you want a loan?"

"Mmhm, sure." Neville agreed, taking the white bank loan paper and a 50k. "Harry, can I have my four 10ks back in exchange for this 50k?"

"Sure, mate." Harry handed the money back. "Oh- wait, we forgot Ron's spinner thing."

"Oh, yeah." Ron sat up. "What do I do?"

"It says to just spin again, to move." Hermione answered.

"Okay," Ron said, reaching over Harry to spin. "Three, action card, oh boy. Give money to animal rescue. 'Save the hippogriffs!' Here you go, Hermione."

Ron handed Hermione a 50k and she handed back three 10ks.

"Okay, Harry?" Hermione turned to him. "You spin, and do you want to exchange those 50ks for 100ks?"

"Yeah," Harry handed Hermione six 50ks and recieved three 100ks. "What about my 100ks, can I get a 500k like Ron?"

"Sure," Hermione took five of Harry's 100ks, leaving him with two, and handed him back one 500k.

"Now, I spin." Harry said. "Okay, I pick Neville, 'cause he needs money, to be my opponent. Spin! Oh, two. How great."

Neville looked hopeful as he spun, landing a six and getting a 50k and two 10ks from Hermione.

"Okay, Draco? Your turn." Hermione said.

"Finally," Malfoy muttered. "Money, finally."

All in all, the group had an amusing time playing the game, and Harry and Ron, while still rather disturbed by Malfoy's physical displays of affection for Hermione, enjoyed the time spent and wished Hermione the best.

Or, Harry did at least.

* * *

 **(A/N) Done! I'm thinking about making some more of these to go along with it, like more little oneshots of them playing more Muggle games. If you have a suggestion for a game, let me know! :3**


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